You are beautiful!!!

So I have been thinking a lot recently about how girls view themselves and why we are so hard on ourselves when it comes to how we look and how others perceive us. Why is it that girls think they can only be happy if they have a guy paying attention to them. I cannot tell you how many girls I have known that have told me, "I will like myself better when I have a boyfriend.", or "All my troubles will end when I have a boyfriend." As well as "I am so lonely. Why does no one love me and pay attention to me?"

I am a firm believer that to be happy in a companion relationship you must first be happy with who you are and who you may become. You must be happy with who you are. You must be willing to forgive your past mistakes and see them for what they are. But I also know that to be happy in this life you have to have sincere and true friendships. You have to have people who truly do care for you and love you for who you are. If you were to go through this life friendless and alone then yes you would not happy. No one can get through this life alone or you would suffer many consequences.

I feel for those people who feel that they are truly alone. I know how it feels to feel alone. I went through years of feeling like no one really understood what I was going through. Where I felt like I had no real friends. Where I truly hated who I was. And most recently, part of 2014, I really had lost who I was. I was helping my brother everyday with his kids, working full time, and school. During this time I had forgotten to focus on myself. And there were days that I felt so useless and non-important. That what I did to serve those around me meant nothing.

During this time, there were times that I had forgotten to turn to Christ for help and support. I wanted others to have pity for me when I was forgetting about the one person who could help me more than anyone. I had forgotten about my Savior so I had also forgotten to love myself. I was even growing to hate myself and to give up. There were times that I turned to self pity. And times where I asked myself, "What is the point of trying anymore." and "Who will love me when no one cares about what I am going through." At my lowest point, where I cried myself to sleep for three days in a row, I finally turned back towards my Savior. I turned towards my scriptures and trusted in Him and His path for me.

Girls and boys.... In closing to be happy in a relationship you have to be happy with yourself. Your troubles and your self esteem issues will still be there. You have to work through those and tell yourself that you are worth it and you are beautiful every single day.

I would not trade trails for the whole world!!!!!

So it has almost been a whole ten months since I wrote on my blog last. I have just been distracted. I have learned a great many things in the last 10 months. The biggest one is the God answers prayers. No matter how long and how desperate they may be.He answers them all. One of the biggest prayers of my heart finally came true. 8 months ago I had the amazing privilege of meeting a wonderful man, Blair Smethurst, who not became my best friend but also my eternal companion. Three months ago. we were married for time and all eternity in the Edmonton, Alberta Temple.

Because of certain situations in my life I did not really believe in true love. I believed that developing a deep and eternal love would take time. That it would take months for a relationship to flourish and grow into a eternal relationship. But in my situation it didn't. I officially met Blair at a church music function. We noticed that we were in the same YSA ward and we both had distinct impressions to talk to each other. And the rest as they say is history. 

It truthfully does feel that we just re-met and re-fell in love. It feels like I have known him for ever and there are times I cannot believe that I have only known him 8 months. I am more in love with him today than o our wedding day.

Just shy of three months after we got married . We lived through a house fire. We were so lucky that we got out. Thanks to multiple promptings of the Spirit we were able to get out safe and sound. If we had waiting for a mere 5 more minutes the house in which were staying would of been lost as well as most of our stuff. But because we listened to the spirit we were able to walk out of the house. And we only lost our food, two towels and some toothbrushes.

Yes, right now we are homeless. Yes, right now all our stuff is in boxes. Yes, we miss having our own newly wed space. But Heavenly Father protected us and kept us safe. Blair and I grew deeper in love. We are truly  learning that Heavenly Father truly does chasten who he loves the most. He has taught us to trust in him and his timeline. He is teaching us what is really important in our lives. He will have a righteous people. And so He will try his children. What we lost is not important.What we gained through this trail I would not trade for the whole world.

We are grateful to the family and friends who have come to our aide and our service. We have much to be thankful and grateful for. 

We will rise through this trail. We will grow closer together and deeper and deeper in love.  We are tried so that we can see our fullest and truest potential.