Powerful Prayer

I have had a rough few days emotionally. They have been incredibly overwhelming to the point where I broke down and cried. I felt like my life was falling apart and that there was nothing I could do to control it. My husband and I are living in my parents basement, I still don't have a job to go too, I don't know when we are going to move out, and then some more personal problems. Last night it all seemed to hit at once.

I cried, and wept into my pillow and by my husband not knowing what to do. I was so confused spiritually and I didn't know what to do. My husband even gave my a Priesthood Blessing, and the overwhelming nature of the situation was so much that it seeemed to me that it didn't even work. Blair and I laid down for bed and I figured out that I was comparing myself to others happiness and their joy. He reminded that on the outside everyone's life seems perfect, but I never know what is happening on the side I can't see. My husband also reminded me that I have been under a lot of stress and that I must calm down or that I will start going down a path I didn't want to go. I was so hurt and frustrated that I didn't wanted to say the evening prayer for our couples prayer. I was lying in bed, not being able to sleep and was away in "Amy-land". When I finally realized that I needed to pray. My pride got in the way that I didn't feel the need to pray.

I left our bed and kneeled to pray in the bathroom. I poured my soul out to my Heavenly Father. As I was pouring out my soul I felt a "blanket" of peace roll over me. I felt that everything will work out and that it is in His Hands. That is not the easiest answer.

Last night I felt like my faith in his plan was wavering but this morning I feel like I can get through the day. This morning I went on a walk down in the river valley in Medicine Hat. I was in my calm place, where you can see and hear nature all around you. I was sitting down there by the river and I started praying again. This time for the faith in my Heavenly Fathers plan for us. It is not the easiest thing to have faith in his plan, but it takes faith to take those needed steps in th darkness.

I know that Heavenly Father is watching out for us and is protecting us. I know that He has promised me many things and that I will receive many things if I remain faihtful. I am more blessed than I know and realize. And I am loved by a wonderful man who loves and supports me. He hurts when I hurt. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have him for a husband. I am so grateful that he is worthy of his priesthood so that he can give me a blessing when I am in despair.

Blessings from in high

I do not know if anyone reads my blogs. I think these are more for me than for anyone else's benefit. I love writing and putting my thoughts on a page. I used to write all the time, I had to write in my journal every night before going to bed. I couldn't to sleep unless I wrote something down, even if it was just a sentence or two. It helped calm my mind so that I could sleep. But recently I have gotten out of the habit.  Now that I have my husband to talk to and to vent to when I am feeling sad or alone, I have stopped. I have been meaning to get back into the habit of writing all the time.  I found writing very therapeutic and relaxing. If I didn't write, I couldn't sleep. I would toss and turn for hours and hours until I had to get up and write anyway. I haven't written in my journal now for almost a year now, and I really do miss it. Maybe I will start using this as a journal. This is a place where I can tell others what goes on in my life. I feel also it will be a better to write it online in some form because my journals already take up a huge tote (almost 10 years of writing).

I have been thinking lately at how blessed my husband and I have been in the last few days. Just over a few days ago the city of Fort McMurry, Alberta started up in flames. The fire caused the whole cite of almost 80, 000 to be evacuated from their home at moments notice. I can imagine what they are going through. When Blair and I went through our house fire. We were lucky. We really nothing in the fire. WE had to throw out two toothbrushes, two towels, and all the open food in the house. But, to loose everything from your food, pictures, furniture, and family heirlooms. I could not imagine loosing everything. And to literally have to decide on what to take at a moments notice. I will be honest I would not know what I would grab in a moments notice. With our fire they literally told us to leave everything and go outside. What would I grab in a moments notice. Blair and I do have our bug out bags and bin. But would I think to take pictures and/or last minute food.

What things would be most important. And what I have come to the realization is that I would only grab my family and important documents. Stuff can be replaced, people cannot. I am grateful for the hard work of the emergency responders. These firemen are putting their lives on the line so that the fires do not spread and cause more devastation. But what has amazed me is the kindness and generosity of the Albertan people. Concourses of people have stopped their lives to take loads of much needed emergency supplies up to the people that were stranded on the highways. People and companies have gone above and beyond. The Albertan people have shown Christlike service.

Blair and I would of loved to donate money and or supplies to those people but the turth of the matter is that we do not have the means to do so. But the important part is that if we could we would give. I believe that service is also dependent on the intent of your heart. We would love to serve them but we can't monetarily. But we had the opportunity yesterday to fast for the evacuees and also those affected by the economic down turn, and for the weather to be tempered. I am grateful that I was able to serve in this manner.

I have also been thinking about how blessed I have been in regards, that we have a place to live. Blair and I have been unable yet to find a place in Medicine Hat but we are lucky that my parents are being so kind to allow us to stay in their basement. In payment we have to cook dinner but that is no big deal.

Blair and I are blessed more than either of us could imagine. Even though we do not have a lot we have enough for our needs. We have enough to make us comfortable and safe. We can still buy food and other things. We have never stood wanting for anything or struggled to buy groceries. I am very grateful to a Heavenly Father who watches out for us.